There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
