would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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