he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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