I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
tell me about the fingering
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