i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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