I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
