Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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