He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
