Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
