Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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