Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
