we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
My orgasm happened in two different decades
There's even glitter on my cock...
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