I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
