Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
