My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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