I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Drake has all the answers
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