So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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