I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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