Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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