Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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