ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
