yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
foreskin is a definite game changer
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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