You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
