Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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