I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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