i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
