Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
