Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize