just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
