can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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