Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
did i walk over a car last night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
