i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
