I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
