Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
