just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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