It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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