Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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