we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
