in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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