I'm jealous of your bromance
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
