Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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