im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Found your dick twin last night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
