barbara walters just said penis...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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