walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
