Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I love black thongs
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
