Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
