69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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