fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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