You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i dont even know how to be here
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
