i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
