broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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