well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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