I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i dont even know how to be here
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
