If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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