I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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