So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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