Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
