You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize