Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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