Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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