Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
